We
have been back in Ruston for over a week and we have so many mixed emotions.
They say that adoption is an emotional roller coaster but nothing
prepares you for it. I have never felt so much joy and tragedy through
the same experience.
In
life, sometimes we don't like to see the pain. We like to forget the
tragedy involved with life. We choose to shelter ourselves from the pain.
We just like to be happy. I haven't updated our blog for a while
because of this - I did not know how to write an update without also including
the challenges involved with adoption.
We had
a great trip to Ethiopia, it is a beautiful country with amazing people.
Our time with the little guy was great, we love him dearly. We
spent a lot of time with him. Holding him. Feeding him.
Bathed him. Putting him to sleep. Everything you do with a
baby.
The
time at Hannah's Hope was awesome, it was impressive to see the love poured out
on the children. It did not matter what job title someone had at Hannah's
Hope, you could see anyone changing diapers and happily holding a baby.
Whenever we spent time with someone, I asked them what is their favorite
part of they job, everyone said the kids. It did not matter if they were
the person who drove us around town or processed paperwork...everyone who
worked at Hannah's Hope loved the children. The love poured out on
children made it a lot easier when we had to get on a plane and leave our son
in Ethiopia.
There
is so much joy in adoption but there is also so much tragedy. We like to
ignore the pain but when we were in Ethiopia, it was hard not to recognize both
sides of the story. The date we passed court, there was also a birth
family driving with us to approve the other side of an adoption. I did
not know what emotion to feel when we drove to court...should I feel the joy
about potentially getting court approval? Or should I feel sadness for
how a birth family can feel?
Nothing
can prepare you for the mixed emotions: nothing prepares you for the pain
and nothing prepares you for the joy.
It is
sometimes hard to reconcile these things with our new son, whom we love dearly
and recognize as a good gift from God. He is beautiful and amazing but
has also experienced tragedy because there is brokenness in the world. We
just know one story and their are 4.3 million orphans in Ethiopia. In
many ways this experience solidifies our conviction invest long term
in orphan care.
We had
a great trip and were so grateful for the opportunity. It was great to
see the city, taste the food, and learn about the culture. We are the
most grateful that met our beautiful son. God blessed us with a smooth
trip and court approval in country. With all the ups and downs of
adoption, I am grateful for every part of it. I would not want to take
any part out of the experience.
