We are definitely long overdue for a blog update but it has been a challenging one to write. We have had many joys over the last two months as a family but have also faced many challenges. Through the adoption process I have often felt that people only want to hear the happy parts, so we choose to edit what information we give people. Life has challenges and too often we are scared to be honest with them.
The past two months have been a unique combination of the little guy flourishing as well as having epic sleeping problems. We have learned that if the baby is not sleeping, no one is really that happy. When the sleeping challenges began we did not know if it was normal baby problems x10 or reflective of his grief and developing attachment. So we did all the right attachment things to try to help him sleep.
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For two weeks he took all of his naps on me in the carrier...just trying to help him feel secure so he can sleep better. As the time progressed, I realized he was sleeping worse. His naps were more restless and the nights kept getting worse. Jesus used a conversation with a friend and a hot shower (amazing bonus for moms) to speak a powerful word to me. I realized that I did not need to be the perfect adoption mother, I just needed to be his mother. So if the standard attachment solutions to his problems weren't working, I should try something different. Naps in the carrier went away and there was much rejoicing by everyone.
We still have a son who had epic sleep problems but we are at least now trying to figure out what helps him...not what 'standard' right answer is the magic bullet solution. Around this time, our family had another monkey wrench thrown into the mix as I re-injured my tennis elbow. Over two years ago, I got a severe case of tennis elbow in both arms and then it came back. The last time this happened, we had to make some dramatic changes including a new car for me to drive. Now with it back, it can basically hurt to do anything.
This meant that Leland became the primary caregiver during the evening hours because my arms could not handle the squirming boy (he really, really fought sleep). When you add an injury on top of a child that would wake up anywhere between 7-14 times a night...one could say that things were challenging in our home. I have never cried so much in my life. I have also never been so dependent upon Jesus.
Leland and I came to the realization quickly that we can't make the little guy sleep. Often times when a child his age would have sleep problems, the only recommendation would be to simply let them cry it out...we knew that we could not do that. So Jesus became our only answer. This meant there were nights that Leland was taking care of him and I was on my knees praying.
I would love to say that we are in the clear and the little guy is sleeping through the night...but that is not the case. We have seen God do significant miracles in the last 3 weeks, unfortunately when I share them people don't seem to be too impressed. I guess you have to walk through the dark nights, to see the significant work He is doing.
For now we rejoice with a little guy:
This may not seem significant to you....and we definitely have a long way to go...but we are rejoicing in the victory Jesus is taking. I am rejoicing in a marriage that has gotten stronger through the obstacles. I am rejoicing that God answers prayers and does not leave us alone.
Sorry it has taken so long for us to give any update...we just felt that people did not really want to hear the unhappy parts of adoption. Sometimes it seems like people just want to see the end of the movie, instead of the whole thing. I am incredibly grateful for the ability to participate in the entire movie, it just means that there are seasons that are incredibly challenging as well as joyful.
I said earlier that little guy was flourishing and it is true. It is amazing to see the difference a family can make.
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This picture is his Gotcha Day in Ethiopia, he just turned 5 months old.
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This is the first week in the states. Right after this picture was taken, he rolled over from his tummy to back. That evening he rolled from his back to tummy.
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Once he learned crawling position, he quickly learned to move backwards. It took a couple of weeks to master moving forwards. He is off and running now.
Sitting and proud.
He can now pull himself up to a stand on almost anything.
Another thing he will do now is crawl to us and ask to be picked up. It is amazing to watch him want and ask for attention.
We have seen victory as well as many challenges over the past few months. We are incredibly grateful for a God that cares enough to answer prayers and looks after us all.
The past two months have been a unique combination of the little guy flourishing as well as having epic sleeping problems. We have learned that if the baby is not sleeping, no one is really that happy. When the sleeping challenges began we did not know if it was normal baby problems x10 or reflective of his grief and developing attachment. So we did all the right attachment things to try to help him sleep.
.JPG)
For two weeks he took all of his naps on me in the carrier...just trying to help him feel secure so he can sleep better. As the time progressed, I realized he was sleeping worse. His naps were more restless and the nights kept getting worse. Jesus used a conversation with a friend and a hot shower (amazing bonus for moms) to speak a powerful word to me. I realized that I did not need to be the perfect adoption mother, I just needed to be his mother. So if the standard attachment solutions to his problems weren't working, I should try something different. Naps in the carrier went away and there was much rejoicing by everyone.
We still have a son who had epic sleep problems but we are at least now trying to figure out what helps him...not what 'standard' right answer is the magic bullet solution. Around this time, our family had another monkey wrench thrown into the mix as I re-injured my tennis elbow. Over two years ago, I got a severe case of tennis elbow in both arms and then it came back. The last time this happened, we had to make some dramatic changes including a new car for me to drive. Now with it back, it can basically hurt to do anything.
This meant that Leland became the primary caregiver during the evening hours because my arms could not handle the squirming boy (he really, really fought sleep). When you add an injury on top of a child that would wake up anywhere between 7-14 times a night...one could say that things were challenging in our home. I have never cried so much in my life. I have also never been so dependent upon Jesus.
Leland and I came to the realization quickly that we can't make the little guy sleep. Often times when a child his age would have sleep problems, the only recommendation would be to simply let them cry it out...we knew that we could not do that. So Jesus became our only answer. This meant there were nights that Leland was taking care of him and I was on my knees praying.
I would love to say that we are in the clear and the little guy is sleeping through the night...but that is not the case. We have seen God do significant miracles in the last 3 weeks, unfortunately when I share them people don't seem to be too impressed. I guess you have to walk through the dark nights, to see the significant work He is doing.
For now we rejoice with a little guy:
- who can go down for a nap without a bottle
- can sleep at times in 3-4 hour chunks
- who Jesus has been able to help him transition sleep cycles ... yes there were nights he woke up almost every transition
- whose periods of awake restlessness are decreasing ... it has been a little while since Leland has spent 2 hours fighting him back to sleep
- whose naps normally lasting longer
This may not seem significant to you....and we definitely have a long way to go...but we are rejoicing in the victory Jesus is taking. I am rejoicing in a marriage that has gotten stronger through the obstacles. I am rejoicing that God answers prayers and does not leave us alone.
Sorry it has taken so long for us to give any update...we just felt that people did not really want to hear the unhappy parts of adoption. Sometimes it seems like people just want to see the end of the movie, instead of the whole thing. I am incredibly grateful for the ability to participate in the entire movie, it just means that there are seasons that are incredibly challenging as well as joyful.
I said earlier that little guy was flourishing and it is true. It is amazing to see the difference a family can make.
.JPG)
This picture is his Gotcha Day in Ethiopia, he just turned 5 months old.
.JPG)
.JPG)
Another thing he will do now is crawl to us and ask to be picked up. It is amazing to watch him want and ask for attention.
We have seen victory as well as many challenges over the past few months. We are incredibly grateful for a God that cares enough to answer prayers and looks after us all.
