perspective change

Over the past two months waiting on the adoption has been getting harder.  Currently we are 11 on the boys wait list and 18 on the girls wait list, we have not seen much movement in the past several of months.  I intellectually understand that there are a lot of reasons it feels harder but it does not make it easier.  Some of it has to do with my hopes that it would be finalized over the summer, and now that is looking more like a hail mary pass than a potential reality. It is also hard when you realize that your current situation is so different than the expectations we had when we began. We started with the expected wait time for a referral to be 6-9 months, currently we are on our 17th month waiting.  There have been a lot of changes in Ethiopia since we started, so I understand why it is slower but it can still be hard.

A couple of weeks ago, I decided I need to have a different understanding of time.  My perspective of time revolves around my human understanding and experience.  God operates on an eternal understandings of time.  The bible says, "With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day."  God has a different perspective and I want to understand His better.

I really do believe God is in control.  I know that He cares about our emotions through this process.  I also believe that He has a different perspective.  He is working out a lot more details in this process than I will ever understand.  I don't know what He is doing in Ethiopia to prepare the adoption.  I don't know what God is doing in Ruston with Leland's career or with Chi Alpha to help prepare our transition.  I don't know what God is doing inside of us, to prepare us to be parents.  God's plans are much larger than mine...so I am sure He is working all the circumstances to His plans.