a number

It is the beginning of a new month and we got new numbers for the adoption.  We are currently 5 on the boy list and 12 on the girl list.  It is exciting to have the numbers change but it really doesn't provide a great deal of definition.

Numbers usually provide concrete understanding of the value of something.  They give clarity.  They are exact.  So as our wait list number gets smaller, people expect us to have a better understanding of our timeline.  It is a natural assumption based on how our society interacts with numbers but a smaller number still gives us no idea of how long we will be waiting.

The adoption is moving on God's timeline.  We have wants and dreams for it but ultimately we are not in control.  We are on God's timeline, so numbers are not that meaningful.  I don't really understand what God is up to in the process. I don't understand why we have been waiting for a referral for 19 months and it was suppose to be 6-9 months when we started.  I don't understand why it appears that adoption will not be completed this summer, my definition of the perfect time.  I don't really understand...

The one thing I do understand is that God is trustworthy.  He has never made a mistake in my life before.  His timing has always been perfect before.  Waiting in the past has always been worth it.  He is able to see so much more than I am able.  So I am able to trust that God is in the middle of orchestrating a mighty miracle.  God is preparing everyone for the adoption.  God has a plan for the child.  God has a plan for us.  God is working on amiracle.

The numbers are nice to get once a month but it is even better to know that I don't have to trust in the numbers.  The wait list numbers really are meaningless.  We are grateful that we can trust in God, who is more than able.

"Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows."  James 1:17