In life things can change so quickly. Our plans can change course by a simple phone call or appointment. Last week, our plans for September quickly started to change after a phone call.
We found out that the birth family appointment at the Embassy got moved up almost three weeks. It is unheard of to have an Embassy appointment moved up, so it took me a while to process what was happening. We are in the busy season of college ministry, so I was not expecting this surprise at all. Our original Embassy appointment guaranteed we would be in the country for welcome week and the first two weeks of the school year. Through one phone call, we learned we could be leaving the country before school even starts. Needless to say, last week was insane preparing both for a potential trip as well as the Chi Alpha events with me potentially being gone.
Now, we are in the waiting stage of the adoption that at any time, we can learn that we are leaving the country quickly to bring the little guy to the states. Generally the birth family interview is the last component before the Embassy clears adopting families for travel. You never know how long it will take the Embassy to clear you...so we are just waiting.
I think this stage could be one of the hardest stages of the adoption for me. The complete unpredictability is challenging. I just want to have a little control and be able to plan and prepare for our trip. I want to help the student staff know what to expect. I want to let the guest speakers for the ministry know the dates I need their help. I want to understand what is happening around me.
In the midst of the unknown, I have to place my trust in the unchanging God. We have to know that God knows what is best and is orchestrating a plan where He will be glorified.
The other challenging part of this stage is that we are so close but yet so far away. It is a season that I feel should be full of joy, everyone around us is so excited. We have joy but we also have pain. There is such a desire to be a family but yet it is not here. We long to be with the little guy but yet, it is still not the time.
Yesterday, while I was praying through this feeling of longing, all the while knowing it is not yet time, I had a realization. I thought about how God feels when people are close to putting their trust in Him and entering a relationship but still have obstacles in the way. I just started to cry thinking about the pain that God feels when people are not with Him yet...the longing He has. The desire God has to be family with us, since the Bible expresses that people in relationship with God are adopted by God.
I want this stage to end quickly. I want Embassy approval for travel. But I also want to gain a greater understanding of God's heart. I don't want to wish a season away just because I don't want to experience the pain...especially if that pain can help me know God better.
So for now we wait. We don't know how long we will be waiting but our hearts must rest because God is truly in control while we wait.
We found out that the birth family appointment at the Embassy got moved up almost three weeks. It is unheard of to have an Embassy appointment moved up, so it took me a while to process what was happening. We are in the busy season of college ministry, so I was not expecting this surprise at all. Our original Embassy appointment guaranteed we would be in the country for welcome week and the first two weeks of the school year. Through one phone call, we learned we could be leaving the country before school even starts. Needless to say, last week was insane preparing both for a potential trip as well as the Chi Alpha events with me potentially being gone.
Now, we are in the waiting stage of the adoption that at any time, we can learn that we are leaving the country quickly to bring the little guy to the states. Generally the birth family interview is the last component before the Embassy clears adopting families for travel. You never know how long it will take the Embassy to clear you...so we are just waiting.
I think this stage could be one of the hardest stages of the adoption for me. The complete unpredictability is challenging. I just want to have a little control and be able to plan and prepare for our trip. I want to help the student staff know what to expect. I want to let the guest speakers for the ministry know the dates I need their help. I want to understand what is happening around me.
In the midst of the unknown, I have to place my trust in the unchanging God. We have to know that God knows what is best and is orchestrating a plan where He will be glorified.
The other challenging part of this stage is that we are so close but yet so far away. It is a season that I feel should be full of joy, everyone around us is so excited. We have joy but we also have pain. There is such a desire to be a family but yet it is not here. We long to be with the little guy but yet, it is still not the time.
Yesterday, while I was praying through this feeling of longing, all the while knowing it is not yet time, I had a realization. I thought about how God feels when people are close to putting their trust in Him and entering a relationship but still have obstacles in the way. I just started to cry thinking about the pain that God feels when people are not with Him yet...the longing He has. The desire God has to be family with us, since the Bible expresses that people in relationship with God are adopted by God.
I want this stage to end quickly. I want Embassy approval for travel. But I also want to gain a greater understanding of God's heart. I don't want to wish a season away just because I don't want to experience the pain...especially if that pain can help me know God better.
So for now we wait. We don't know how long we will be waiting but our hearts must rest because God is truly in control while we wait.
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