sleeping update

If you know anything about our adoption journey with the little guy you know that sleep has been a major struggle. I have tried hard to not complain but have definitely failed.  Sleep struggles can be normal for adopted children, they don't know how to process everything that has happened and it just comes out in their sleep. But then you have to face another question: what sleep struggles are adoption related and what is normal baby struggles?


Attachment parenting, what you do with adopted children, has very strong opinions on how to handle sleep problems. You are suppose to rock your child to sleep for 6-12 months to help with the attachment process. I understand the reasons why but Leland and I had to face the difficult question, is this best for our family? Can we keep waking up 5-12 times a night to put him back to sleep? Can we love each other and him well if we keep not sleeping? What is best for the family?


I am so grateful for the Holy Spirit who is our Counselor. I was praying through these things and I felt like God said it was okay to start sleep training.  We came up with a plan and started to prepare him for the process.  Within the first day, we realized that our plan to help him was not actually helping him achieve the goal of falling asleep, so we axed our plan.  We came up with a new plan and stuck with it.  It was incredibly difficult for me but I knew it was best for the family...I knew that God would meet us in the process.


It was hard to listen to him cry as he learned to fall asleep on his own.  It was hard to know that he had needs but I needed to let him learn how to sooth himself.  It was hard to know that the best long term decision was not easy in the short term.  


It was amazing to see how God worked and answered prayers.  The first night, the same child that would wake up 5-12 times, woke up once.  Within 4 days, he was sleeping through the night.  Within one week, we could see that our completely sleep deprived boy (pre sleep training) has been transformed to a well rested baby.  He was happier and had an easier time engaging the world around him.  He is actually showing better attachment than before.  It was what he needed!  


I know that adoptive mothers all over would looking down upon our decision but I know it was the right decision for our son.  I am so grateful for the freedom to listen to the Holy Spirit and do what is best for our son.  Within the first month of being in the states, God told me that I don’t have to be the perfect adopted mother, I need to be HIS mother.